As It Was Meant To Be
by Onora
Summary: Xena and Gabrielle face their feelings after the events in When Fates Collide
1. Default Chapter

As It Was Meant To Be

Chapter 1

Darkness had long since chased the light of day from the forest depths. Yet deep within the woods a furious battle raged between the ancient rivals as a small fire struggled to hold the night at bay. While the fire controlled the confines of the small campsite, the darkness took every opportunity to slip shadows in and out of its enemy's domain.

Obvious to the hard fought battle taking place around her the small blond haired woman reached for a piece of wood and placed it atop the fire. In response the fire cracked, shooting sparks into the quiet night sky as though mocking it enemy with it's new found strength. Satisfied the young woman sat back to stare at the dancing flames. Imagines of the day's events jumped through her mind as quickly as the flames licked at the log.

So much had happened in the span of a couple of days or had it been hours? Two days has passed during her time in Rome, yet time seemed to have stood still in the real world. 'The real world.' she chuckled silently. 'Is there such thing?' Everything in Rome had felt so real, the play, Alti, the Fates temple. The emotions anger, confusion, fear, relief and love. 'Love.' She thought. 'Yes, definitely love.' All of it was so real and yet here she sat as if nothing had happened. The steady rasp of sword against stone invaded the bard's thoughts. Her attention turned to the large woman seated on the bedroll next to her. Strong fingers drew the stone across the steel in a steady rhythm, with the warrior by her side, nestled deep in the quiet woods she found herself once more questioning the other life.

A yawn came over her and wiping at heavy eyelids she suddenly felt exhausted. For the first time she realized what a heavy toll the day had taken mentally and physically.

Xena looked up and smiled warmly. "Are you alright?"

Gabrielle met her gaze and smiled back. "Yeah, just tried."

"It's been a long day." nodded the warrior.

"You have a gift for understatement." chuckled the bard.

"Maybe we should get some sleep?" offered the warrior.

"Sounds good."

Xena turned away to lay aside her sword and stone.

There was a part of the bard that longed to tell Xena of her feelings, but there seemed to be a reluctance between them to speak of what had happened. Much of the evening had been spend in silence as each woman sooth to sort out the events in Rome.

Packing away her scroll Gabrielle laid down, turning to one side and waited for Xena to get settled. Placing her sword within easy reach the warrior took her place at the bard's back forming to the smaller woman's frame. A strong arm slipped around Gabrielle's waist and she grasped it, finding comfort in that simple gesture. Feeling safe from the outside world Gabrielle allowed herself to slip into Morpheus's realm.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The scream was still echoing through the forest as Gabrielle rolled to her feet with weapons in hand. The fire had died down but it still offered a clear view of the campsite. Straining to see or hear anything hiding in the dark the bard found nothing. "xena." she whisper still searching the darkness for an attacker. There was no reply and she wondered if the warrior had slipped into the woods. Slowly she turned and was surprised to find Xena still on her bedroll. Shaking her head in confusion the bard moved closer to the warrior wondering if she had imagined the scream. Drawing closer she realized something was not right.

The warrior lay on her back, arms out straight to her sides, back arched and a look of pain etched on her face.

"Xena?" Gabrielle knelt beside the warrior being careful not to touch her. Tears slipped from the corners of the large woman's tightly closed eyes, but she did not respond. Her powerful body quivered with small spasms.

"Xena, Xena wake up!"

Still the woman did not respond.

Willing to risk a serious bruise or worse Gabrielle grabbed her by the shoulders and shook hard. "Xena! Xena, answer me!"

Instead of striking out Xena awoke with a pain-filled whimper. The cry plucked Gabrielle's heart and for a moment she wished the warrior had awoken ready to fight. "You okay?"

Xena blinked several times trying to regain her focus.

"You were having a nightmare." Offered Gabrielle as she stared down into fear filled blues eyes.

As the realization that she was safe finally sank in Xena swallowed hard and managed a whisper. "It was only a dream?" She didn't seem convinced as she raised a hand and flexed it as if looking for a wound.

"What were you dreaming about?" asked the bard, suspecting the answer.

"I…I don't remember." Xena lied cutting her eyes away.

Gabrielle allowed a sad smile to tug at the corner of her lips. "You don't have to protect me from this, I know you were dreaming about the crucifixion."

Xena's eyes snapped back to the bard's but she did not answer.

Grasping the raised hand Gabrielle gave it a gentle squeeze. "It's over now, you're safe." Holding the warrior's gaze she placed a kiss on the back of the hand.

Closing her eyes Xena laughed softly. "You know it never really happened, at least not in this world."

Studying her friend's face the younger woman slowly shook her head. "No, it may not have happened in this world but it did happen." Gabrielle traced a fingertip over the warrior's shoulder were the arrow had passed through. She was amazed there was no scar. "It was real. You felt it and you remember those feelings, don't you?"

The warrior's shifted uncomfortably, refusing to meet Gabrielle's gaze. "Yes," she whispered. "I remember."

"So do I." whispered the bard.

Xena meet the bard's gaze with concern. "What do you remember?"

"All of it. The joy of having my play praised, the fear as Caesar's soldiers prepared to nail me to the cross." Her body gave an involuntary shook at the memory.

Xena squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Gabrielle don't..."

"The pain and confusion I felt as Alti attacked me." ignoring the warrior's plea she continued. "Then the anger as they shot you down and drug you away. I was so scared for you in that prison cell but there was nothing I could do to save you."

Xena grabbed the younger woman's shoulder shaking her slightly, till their eyes met. "Gabrielle, you did save me. You saved us both. Don't you understand you gave us back our lives."

"I didn't change it in time to save you from the cross." whispered the bard as tears glistened in emerald eyes.

Cupping the young woman's cheek Xena smiled. "Oh, Gabrielle, I told you before it was my destiny to face that cross I know that now. But you saved me from death and you gave me back the world as it was meant to be. Thank you."

Sucking in an emotional breath Gabrielle fell into Xena's arms, and began to sob. Xena wrapped her arms around the petite body and held her close. "Hey, I'm alright. More importantly we're alright."

They held each other, neither willing to part for fear it would all be a dream. Finally when she could cry no more Gabrielle slipped to one side wiping tears from her face. Nestling against the large woman's side she rested her head on a board shoulder as a strong arm wrapped around her shoulders. Flopping an arm over the warrior's flat stomach the young woman sighed contently.

They lay quietly for sometime till Gabrielle's soft voice broke the silence. "How did you know he sent Alti after me?"

"I didn't," admitted Xena. "but I knew I couldn't trust him to keep his word. So I decided to follow you till I was certain you were safe."

Gabrielle chuckled softly. "Always looking out for me."

"Always." smiled Xena giving her an affectionate squeeze.

Again the silence waited with them till Gabrielle drove it off. "You were willing to stay with Caesar and risk going to war with Lao Ma, so I could live out my life in peace."

Xena hesitated. "Yes."

Gabrielle hugged the warrior closer as the realization of that sacrifice sunk in.

Finally Xena drove the silence away. "I wish I could have seen your villa by the sea."

"You would have liked it."

"You know as playwright you could have lived out your life in peace?"

Gabrielle laughed. "If I'd wanted a quiet life I would have stayed in Potiedaia."

That earned a heartfelt chuckle from the dark haired woman. Gabrielle found the sound intoxicating. An impulse seized her and without thinking she leaned over and kissed Xena full on the lips. A passion grew within the kiss and she let the gentle touch linger for a moment longer before slowly pulling away. Slowly the warrior's eyes fluttered open and she smiled at the younger woman. Gabrielle could have sworn there was a sprinkle in those crystal blue eyes, which she'd only seen glimpses of before. Then the smile faded.

"Gabrielle, I don't think we should..."

Raising to one elbow Gabrielle stared down at her. "Did you mean what you said in the prison cell?"

"What" asked Xena, stunned by the question?

"In the prison cell you said that you'd love me forever. Did you mean it?"

"Every word." Answered Xena quietly. Then she blinked and looked away. "But I'm not sure…"

Gabrielle leaned forward silencing the large woman with another kiss this one more passionate than the last. She could feel Xena responding to the kiss and for a moment her lips hungrily sooth out the bard's. Gabrielle shifted her body so she was half on the warrior. Then strong hands where on her shoulders pushing her away and Xena's lips were gone.

Xena's husky panic filled voice broke the moment. "Gabrielle, stop."

"What?" gasped Gabrielle breathlessly. "Why?"

"We can't do this." replied Xena.

"Why not!" squealed the bard.

"Gabrielle I'll bring you nothing but pain, anyone who has ever tried to love me has suffered for it."

"I know the risk." Smiled the bard slyly.

"No, I've caused you so much pain already...I can't…I'm so sorry…"

"Shhh..."Gabrielle place a gentle finger against Xena's quivering lips. "No more apologizes. The past no longer rules our future. From now on we make our own destiny."

"Are you sure you've thought this through?"

"You said everything that has happened in this life happened for a reason as it was meant to. This was meant to be Xena, I know it with all my heart." She leaned toward inviting lips, but still the warrior held her at bay.

"Are you sure about this? I mean do you know what you're getting yourself into?"

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Xena. Whither you've noticed it or not I'm a grown woman."

Xena grinned. "I've noticed."

"While we were in Rome there was a void in my soul and I realized that it was because I'd lost you. I've never felt so lonely. Then when I finally realized the truth it was too late, Caesar was taking you from me again. For years we've allowed the troubles of the world to stand in the way of what we both know is meant to be. There has always been something that was more important, well not anymore. I don't care what the world wants from us anymore it's time we thought of our own needs. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but whatever it is I want to face it with you. We may have a few years, a few weeks, a few days or we may only have tonight, but I can't go through life without sharing my feelings for you. You and I were meant to be. I love you Xena and I want to be with you in every sense of the word. Now the real question is do you want to be with me?"

Xena smiled at the tears gathering in the bard's eyes. "Yes, yes I want to be with you. For so long I felt I wasn't worthy of your love but now. I can't imagine my life without it."

Gabrielle leaned in close. "Xena?"

"h'mmm?"

"You talk to much."

The warrior laughed as she pulled Gabrielle on top of her. Wrapping an arm around the slender woman's waist she slipped the other around Gabrielle's shoulders holding her close as they shared a long passionate kiss.

Breaking away Gabrielle smiled down at her. "So does this mean I get to be on top?"

"For now." Smiled Xena slyly as she pulled the bard close.

There was a gentle slowness in their actions as if savoring every movement. Calloused hands slipped away clothing in search of the soft skin hiding within. As flesh brushed against flesh there was a tingling that only a lover's touch could cause. Their bodies entwined as one and they explored each other in ways neither had thought possible. As the campfire died down their passion rose and burned through the night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Xena awoke to an empty bedroll. Rising to one elbow she spied Gabrielle standing at the edge of the campsite, staring into the night sky. Wrapping the blanket around her Xena rose going to stand behind the bard. "What are you doing?"

"Just thinking." answered the bard without turning. Without thought she crossed her arms rubbing the palms against them for warmth.

"Here," Xena opened the blanket and stepped forward. Pulling the smaller woman back against her she wrapped her arms and the blanket around Gabrielle. " you're going to freeze to death standing out here with nothing on." Holding Gabrielle close Xena nuzzled against the bard's neck and kissed her gently. The action felt so natural she wondered why she hadn't done it before.

Gabrielle giggled as warm lips caressed her neck.

"So" began the warrior in between kisses. "what has you streaking naked through the forest in the middle of the night?"

"I was hardly streaking through the forest. Besides, I thought you liked me naked."

Xena chuckled and for the first time Gabrielle realized just how much she loved that sound. "Well I'm not complaining."

"Good." laughed Gabrielle.

Suddenly Xena's lips were gone and Gabrielle sensed a tenseness in the warrior's body.

"What's wrong?" asked Gabrielle straining her senses for what sound had alerted the warrior.

"Do you have any regrets?"

"What?" asked the bard having been caught completely off guard by the question. "Regrets about what?"

"About the step we've taken."

Gabrielle spun to face her. "No! Of course not!" then she felt her stomach drop. "Do you?"

The look of fear in the young woman's eyes told Xena everything she needed to know. "No, no regrets at all." To emphasize the point she pulled the smaller woman close and kissed her passionately. As their lips parted Xena whispered huskily. "Let's go back to bed."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Morning found the lovers wrapped in each other's arms. Xena's head rested on Gabrielle's chest and the bard gently stroked her hair till the warrior awoke.

"Morning sleepy head." Teased the bard as Xena rose to one elbow.

"Morning." Smiled Xena as she glanced around. "What time is it?"

"Does it matter?"

Pausing for a moment Xena shrugged. "No, I guess not." She laid back down and began tracing a finger along the bard's smooth stomach.

Gabrielle continued to stroke the dark head resting on her chest. "I never knew you could be such a gentle lover."

"I thought that's what you liked?" teased Xena.

"I do." She smiled. "Most of the time."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Now what?" asked Gabrielle.

"Now we just take it one day at a time."

"Together?"

Xena smiled warmly. "Always."

The end


End file.
